Reflections on Grief and Feeling by Sarah Chamberlin @Infertility Honesty

By Lesley | July 23, 2017 | 10 Comments

My first brush with the pain of loss I’ll never forget my first real brush with the pain of loss.  It was after our fourth IUI failed when my tectonic plates started to rumble.  Not quite one year into trying to conceive, things had gone rapidly and not well, and the world was starting to look and feel as never before.  Like most of us I had no idea what to “do” with these immeasurable emotions that would come careening in without even a moment’s notice.  I had contemplated actually feeling them, a quaint notion for me as back then as I used to refer to myself as “the head”. So I wasn’t considering really letting it rip for any other reason than the fact I was out of options.  When slaughtering emotions presented themselves I had tried every trick in the book applied by those who have no concept – from rationalizing, admonishing myself and everyone’s favorite useless advice, “think about something positive”.  And spoiler alert – I couldn’t. Reluctantly starting to feel Common sense had informed me that anything that could be done about my “no pregnancy yet situation” I was already doing, and that there was nothing else left to do but feel. Oh shit. And so there I was at Trader Joe’s food market, innocently trying to procure my organic chicken tenderloins whilst being squeezed by a stroller on my right and a mother with quite the new baby in a sling on my left.  A … Read moreReflections on Grief and Feeling by Sarah Chamberlin @Infertility Honesty

What keeps you on course

By Lesley / April 3, 2018 / 0

It’s all getting a bit hectic in the Pyne household as my dream of holding my book in my hand comes close to being a reality. One moment I find … Read moreWhat keeps you on course

The secret to finding peace

By Lesley / March 13, 2018 / 6

“Here it comes again, my daily weep. I don’t want to cry again. My chest feels so heavy with that all pervading sadness. I’ve worked SO hard over the last … Read moreThe secret to finding peace

Being infertile feels like crap.

By Lesley / February 27, 2018 / 1

Being infertile feels like crap. I  wish I could say it more eloquently, but I really can’t. I felt like a total loser. Now I would never feel that way about … Read moreBeing infertile feels like crap.

Courage or comfort, what’s your choice?

By Lesley / February 1, 2018 / 10

I don’t know about you, but my year has already been a bit of a rollercoaster. In my last blog I wrote how I planned to slow down in January, … Read moreCourage or comfort, what’s your choice?

Why not to start new things in January and what do to instead

By Lesley / January 9, 2018 / 4

If you’re excited by all the enthusiastic emails flooding into your inbox telling you that, now it’s January you MUST set goals or intentions; give up this or start that, … Read moreWhy not to start new things in January and what do to instead

Christmas Survival Guide

By Lesley / November 30, 2017 / 6

It’s that time of year again and you can probably feel the tension and stress building. Maybe the idea of hiding somewhere until January sounds attractive but unfortunately that’s not … Read moreChristmas Survival Guide

Finding joy from grief

By Lesley / November 7, 2017 / 3

When was the last time you felt complete, unadulterated joy? Not sure? Let me guess, you’ve also been running away from grief. As Tracey Cleantis said when I interviewed her … Read moreFinding joy from grief

Feeling misunderstood (guest post by Tessa Broad)

By Lesley / October 25, 2017 / 0

I think one of the hardest things about being childless in a pronatalist society is feeling misunderstood and at times, feeling less than.  I’m not sure I realized it at … Read moreFeeling misunderstood (guest post by Tessa Broad)

Feeling my way through grief

By Lesley / October 9, 2017 / 10

You’re walking down the High Street when completely out of the blue something catches your eye and immediately you feel the grip of grief tightening. It’s like a volcano in … Read moreFeeling my way through grief

The power of finding support

By Lesley / September 17, 2017 / 0

This post is my contribution to WorldChildlessWeek, here are my thoughts on finding support. Let me guess, you’re struggling to come to terms with not being a mother.  You’ve found … Read moreThe power of finding support

What’s made you who you are today?

By Lesley / September 5, 2017 / 0

Here’s a question for you. What events in your life have made you who you are today? And whilst you’re thinking, here’s some help; Take blank sheet of paper; draw … Read moreWhat’s made you who you are today?

From sprained ankle to heart in three steps

By Lesley / August 21, 2017 / 6

I hear and feel the crack in my ankle as I crash to the ground. ‘Are you Okay?’ Roger asks. ‘NO’ I get up slowly up and hobble gingerly to … Read moreFrom sprained ankle to heart in three steps

Reflections on Grief and Feeling by Sarah Chamberlin @Infertility Honesty

By Lesley / July 23, 2017 / 10

My first brush with the pain of loss I’ll never forget my first real brush with the pain of loss.  It was after our fourth IUI failed when my tectonic … Read moreReflections on Grief and Feeling by Sarah Chamberlin @Infertility Honesty

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Finding gifts in the impossible story.

By Lesley / June 26, 2017 / 6

As you know I’m in the middle of writing a book about stories and my new e-book (called Change the Story, Change Your Life) is all about how the stories … Read moreFinding gifts in the impossible story.

Three ways to ignore grief (and what to do instead)

By Lesley / May 30, 2017 / 9

I’m going to dive straight in with some bad news: You’re grieving.   I’m sorry, but you are. I’m guessing that you’ve got that sinking feeling and a ‘no.. ‘ … Read moreThree ways to ignore grief (and what to do instead)

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