Are you the best version of yourself?

Well are you?

You play many different roles in life and over your lifetime, are any of them the real or the best you (whatever the ‘best’ means to you)?

What version of you is leading your life?

Maybe it’s the you who;

• wanted to be a mother and couldn’t be,
• is struggling to come to terms with not having children,
• is angry at what life has thrown at you,
• is sad because you dreams didn’t come true,

or some other version along similar lines, none of which are the real you.

If you’re happy being you and you’re convinced that you are the best version of yourself that’s absolutely fantastic, however, if there’s something that you’re not quite happy about, read on to learn how to unlock the door to the best version of yourself.

I believe that answering the question ‘who am I?’ is key to coming to terms with not having children and it’s the focus of the work I do.

Your imagination is very powerful and many people believe that before you can have or be anything in your life you have to imagine it.

It is now time to let go of who you imagined you would be as a mother (and any other identities that won’t be true) and start to imagine instead who you want to be for the rest of your life.

And like any journey, before you start, you need a map and to know where you are,

So let me ask you:

• Who are you right now?

• Who do you want to be? Really imagine the best version of you,

• And how are you stopping yourself from being who you want to be?

You know that it’s only YOU that can make positive things in your life, so it follows that it’s only YOU that can stop yourself.

Now let’s flex those imagination muscles a bit further and combine it with some time travel. Sit quietly for a couple of minutes and,

• Imagine a year from now and you’ve stayed the same, you haven’t changed and neither has your life. Everything is the same as it is today. How do you feel? Remember that feeling and maybe write down the key words that describe it.

• Now imagine a year from now and you HAVE changed, you’ve broken through what was stopping you and holding you back, you no longer wear the invisibility cloak and you’re becoming the best version of you, the who that you want to be.

How does THAT feel? Really feel those positive feelings and notice what’s good about who you are now.

What’s the main thing that makes you feel good about yourself NOW?

Once you’ve absorbed all those positive feelings and written down the key words that describe it reflect on what you did to get to here. Also notice the difference in the two lists of words you wrote down.

And now the key question:

If you could look back from the future as the best version of you and talk to the person you are today, sitting here reading this blog, what would you say to her to encourage and help her to be the woman she wants and can be?

And then:

Are you willing to take your advice, to release what’s stopping you and to do what it takes to be the best version of you?

If you answered yes, that’s absolutely fantastic, and I invite you to reflect on what you’re going to do.

If no, then encourage you to consider the pain and hurt that you are causing yourself by staying stuck.

Now what are you going to do?

I know that was a lot of questions, and now you’ve worked through them you’re probably feeling a bit uncomfortable. This is good as often it’s only when you’re uncomfortable that you will make the effort to change.

Discomfort is the price you pay for changing, for growing and for becoming truly you. I don’t know about you but it’s a price I’m willing to pay and it certainly worked for me.

I really believe this quote, being yourself is life’s greatest accomplishment. It may not be easy though, and the magic only happened for me once I realised that I needed help and I found a guide. It has been so worth it though,

I only wish I’d realised it sooner.

The exercise above is a combination of NLP techniques and what I learned from a talk by Diana Glouberman.

Over to you

If you are the best version of you, we’d love to hear how you did that.

If you find this daunting or you’re not sure what action to take, I’d love to help you. You can book a complimentary session via my online diary or leave a message on my contact page and we can spend 20 to 30 minutes to get clarity on how we can work together to create a life you love.

And if you leave your email at the top of the page you’ll be the first to hear about more articles like this and, as a bonus you’ll get the confidence e-book.

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