Christmas Survival Guide

It’s that time of year again and you can probably feel the tension and stress building.

Maybe the idea of hiding somewhere until January sounds attractive but unfortunately that’s not possible. Like an out of control train, Christmas is coming and you can’t stop it. So you may as well prepare yourself as much as you can.


I’m not sure how I feel about Christmas these days. I’m as at peace with not having children as I’ll ever be but not having my parents is tougher to deal with. There are a number of reasons, I guess mainly to do with missing their presence on the day.

And there are opportunities too. Opportunities for us to do things a little bit differently, to start our own, new traditions.

This year, for the first time it will be just the two of us on Christmas Day, so it will be quieter, and we have the opportunity to do exactly what we want to do.

I love the way what we do is changing and evolving; we’re keeping those things we love and making our own mark on the day.

And I also know there will be times when I feel overwhelmed or triggered by something or perhaps when I want to escape.

And I’m guessing you will too. Here’s a short audio which, when you use it will make you feel better in any situation.

I’ve listed below the previous blogs I’ve written to help you get through this time of year, and also included other resources including a couple of really helpful videos.

And please remember: it WILL pass, YOU WILL get through it. This year will go better than last year and in no time at all it will be January.

Here are my blogs:

3 ways to take control at Christmas

What’s the link between Christmas parties & pass the parcel? 

The one thing to help you at Christmas

Here are other resources I’ve collated, I’ll add to these if I find any more in the next few weeks, so do pop back from time to time.

Focusing on what you have and not what you don’t have always helps, and here’s a blog on this subject from theNotMom

Life Without Baby: Holiday Companion

As Lisa writes on Life Without Baby ‘ When you’re a childless woman, the bombardment of family-focused activities during the holiday season can be enough to make you want to hibernate until January. Lisa Manterfield and Kathleen Guthrie Woods know exactly how that feels, and they have written something that can help.

Holiday Companion is a compilation of humorous, healing, and thought-provoking posts drawn from the archives of Life Without Baby, the international online community for women who are childfree by choice, chance, or circumstance. By sharing their own experiences, survival tips, and insights from their readers, Manterfield and Woods offer encouragement and compassion to help you get through the holidays and get closer to making peace with being childfree.’

You can read more and buy it in the US here  and the UK here.

Coping with family gatherings

Corrina Gordon Barnes has recorded two short videos which I think are superb in helping you to prepare for a family gathering.

The first is for you if ‘The people at your family gathering are not how you want them to be. Intellectually, you know the way to peace is through acceptance. “I just need to make peace with them and let this go.” But HOW do you do this when the situation’s so challenging?’  Here’s Dreading The Family Gathering? Try This.   

And the second is for you if ‘your highest intention isn’t to leave the family get-together saying, “Thank goodness I survived that.”

Yes, it’s a start! – but I’m guessing you’d rather say: “I’m proud of how I showed up.”

You want to show up as the best version of you. The authentic you. The you that your best friends know and love. The you that’s done work on yourself and should have the skill to move beyond old (painful) patterns.

But being on form at a challenging family get-together is easier said than done

It’s all too common to fall into the same pit as last year: tension, disconnect, annoyance, frustration.’

Watch How To Have The Best Possible Family Get-Together  and learn how to change the story

You’ll be aware that they’re not written for childless women.

And above all, please remember self-kindness and self-compassion so do take care of yourself.

Thank you for reading my blog and for your support and comments.  starfish

I wish you a peaceful Christmas.

What do you think?

Did this article help you? If so please add a comment (you can use another name) to help other women like you.

And if there are other resources that you find helpful for Christmas, please leave a link to them below.

6 thoughts on “Christmas Survival Guide”

  1. Have just found your page after hearing you on an old Radio 4 programme from May 2015.

    After 5 rounds of IVF (including 2 miscarriages) over the last two years, we took the decision to make our attempt this past Summer our final attempt.

    I am mostly at peace with our decision but am finding the approaching Christmas holiday season a bit tougher than I had anticipated, and your posts here and the links provided have proved VERY comforting and reassuring. Thank you

    • Thanks for your kind words Sally, it will take time for you to be at peace and this is your first Christmas, so please be gentle with yourself.
      Hang on to the thought that in no time it will be January.

  2. Thank you so so much…… sharing the office with a lovely girl who got pregnant right away and baby is due in Feb the weight of my internal pain and childlessness is overwhelming but I will survive????your blog is such a comfort but also so practical and helpful so appreciate you and your pioneering work


Leave a Comment

CommentLuv badge

Sign up here to download Chapter One

By signing up I'll send you a free copy of the first chapter of the book, you are also agreeing to receive ongoing newsletters and marketing information from me.

Secured By miniOrange