Why courage is the key to moving on

Since I wrote the six things I’ve learned in the last year I’ve come to realise just how intertwined they are and how they’re a recipe for life in general, not just living as a childless woman.

Crysallis01-webreadyI’ve also been thinking about courage, how it’s the heart of everything I’ve done and how I’ve healed. How it’s been the key to taking action and without it I wouldn’t have healed and I’d still be trapped in the cocoon.

Courage helps me every time I tell my story, it helps me to ask for support, to learn new things and expand my comfort zone, and most importantly courage is one of my core values.

What are core values?

Your core values are the essence of you, they determine your drive and motivation, your behaviour and how you are in any situation. And more importantly, knowing and living to your core values gives you an inner strength. When you’re true to your core values and things don’t work out quite as planned, you will be okay because you were true to yourself.

Crusallis02webreadywhiteThere will be times when you have to choose, when you’ll have to let go of those which aren’t as important and hold on to a couple that are absolutely key. You will hold on to these at all times and they will describe the essence of you. For example, when recently working with a client and she voiced her two key values I recognised her instantly. Even though we’d been working together for a few hours I instantly knew that they described her perfectly.

One of mine is courage.

What is courage and why is it important?

courage-doesnt-always-roar-inspirational-quoteTo me courage is about stepping outside my comfort zone, its about doing something I haven’t done before. Sometimes I might take big leaps, but more often it’s small steps.

As this quote from Mary Anne Radmacher says ‘Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying ‘I will try again tomorrow’

Courage is:

Standing up for yourself,

Asking for help in a small way,

Calling a friend who is ill,

Saying ‘I don’t know,’

Trying something new,

Starting a business or a new job,

Publishing a blog,

Not quite succeeding at something today, dusting yourself down, taking feedback and having another go tomorrow,

Telling some or all of your story (thank you so much if you’ve reached out to me to tell your story, I do know how much courage it takes and I am honoured that you’ve trusted me with it).

Being courageous is speaking honestly and openly about who you are, what you’re feeling and what you’re experiencing (good and not so good).

For me, it’s easier in some aspects of life than others. As I write this I’m in the middle of a family illness and at times I’m struggling. What’s really helping is reminding myself regularly (often hourly) that courage has got me this far and will lead me wherever I’m going next.

Crysallis03webreadywhiteAnd you know what, when I’ve been brave and asked for help or said that I’m struggling I’ve been overwhelmed by the empathy, understanding, offers of help and cyber-hugs that have come back. I’ve discovered how many people want to help, but you have to ask first!

And I’ve also discovered that, although I might feel nervous and perhaps fearful before I’m courageous, the experience makes me feel so very, very alive. And that is worth the moments of discomfort.

Courage is a choice, ultimately a choice between taking responsibility for yourself and your life, or continuing to be the victim.

So what will you choose?

I have known Xanax since 2000. I was prescribed it in hospital. I was feeling very bad. I was suffering from poor sleep, constant tension, tearfulness, irritability, panic attacks, and depression. The drug was prescribed along with an antidepressant. I spent in hospital 30 days. As a result, the sleep has been improved and the panic attacks has become less frequent (earlier it was 2-3 times a day, I have become calm.
A lot of time has passed, Buy Xanax is always in my medicine kit.

Being courageous isn’t comfortable and I’ve learned that courage and comfort don’t go together. You can have one or the other but you can’t have both. You can have a comfortable life in the cocoon (but it’s also dark and not where you want to be, is it?) or you can grab on to some courage and take the first small step to working your way out.

Okay I get it, how do I learn to be courageous?

Unfortunately there’s no magic wand, like most things in life, courage is a practice so the more you do it the better you’ll get and the braver you will become. This quote from Mary Daly sums it up;

‘Courage is like – it’s a habitus, a habit, a virtue:

You get it by courageous acts. It’s like you learn to swim by swimming.

You learn courage by couraging.’

It’s also contageous so every time you choose courage, you also make those around you a little braver.

So the best way is to start small.

Over to you

So let me ask – what small thing could you do today that’s brave, that would stretch your courage muscles?

flyingbutterfly-webready-whitePlease let us know below how it worked and especially how much better you felt afterwards.

If you’re not quite sure, you’ll want to know that learning how not to be the victim is one of the first steps in Small Steps to Healing.

If you have any questions or you’d like to talk about how knowing your values can make such a positive difference in your life, then I’d love to have a chat with you. Please contact me to arrange a convenient time.

2 thoughts on “Why courage is the key to moving on”

  1. Lesley, I love the depth and wisdom of your thoughts and resonate with what you wrote. Core values light the way and being courageous means risking every day. It is about remembering that action is necessary to build a life that is fulfilling and rich, no matter what is going on, and getting out of my cave of introversion because I need to serve. Great reminder. Thanks for your honesty.
    Miriam Linderman recently posted…WHY IT MAKES SENSE TO STAY BEFORE YOU BINGE OR PURGEMy Profile

    • Thanks Miriam, you’re right. I like that we have to remember what action is necessary to be who we want to be, and then summon up the courage to take it. For me some things have been hard, but SO worth it and also I love how being brave makes me feel so very alive. And that’s something we all want more of.
      Lesley x


Leave a Comment

CommentLuv badge

Sign up here to download Chapter One

By signing up I'll send you a free copy of the first chapter of the book, you are also agreeing to receive ongoing newsletters and marketing information from me.

Secured By miniOrange