Finally Heard – Interview with Pamela Tsigdinos @SilentSorority

Pamela TsigdinosPamela was one of the first bloggers to write about childlessness on her Coming2Terms blog and her book Silent Sorority. She’s also a role model and mentor so when she writes a new book; it’s time to pay attention.

Her new book is called Finally Heard: A Silent Sorority Finds it’s Voice and here’s what Amazon says about it.

Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos emerged as a reluctant spokeswoman in 2008 after a health reporter from The New York Times asked if she’d be willing to openly discuss her infertility experience. Tsigdinos discussed the stubborn persistence of the condition and the lack of a cultural framework to process the losses. An accompanying health feature story produced astonishment and relief that someone was candidly addressing the trauma and legacy of infertility.

Soon thereafter she wrote what became an award-winning book called Silent Sorority. In the first memoir on infertility not authored by a mother, Tsigdinos’ writing explored the complicated, disenfranchised grief and identity issues following prolonged failed attempts to conceive. Now 10 years outside of the grief she once felt so viscerally, Tsigdinos brings us Finally Heard: The Silent Sorority Finds Its Voice. In an intentionally short ebook designed in the Kindle Singles model, it incorporates wisdom from ‘Generation IVF’ designed to spark discussion about the little discussed aftermath of fertility treatments.

Finally Heard moves beyond the personal to examine the complex inter-relationship of the psychological, social and cultural implications of ‘Generation IVF.’ Today’s cultural preoccupation with parenting and the growing commercial focus of the for-profit fertility industry has birthed a fear-driven patient/consumer population and society ill-equipped to process reproductive failure. Tsigdinos makes clear that the disproportionate emphasis on ‘magical thinking’ and the new industry focus on ‘social egg freezing’ has bred an expectation of parenthood. This creates new challenges and decisions not only for women but for parents who may one day be called upon to counsel children on decisions around reproductive health.

I’m pleased that Pamela agreed to join me in a conversation which we called ‘Infertility Misconceptions’.

We talked on a range of topics (and could have continued for much longer), including:

  • The key messages in Finally Heard,
  • What her biggest shock was in her own journey (and mine too),
  • What the clinics could do to help patients,
  • How women could best be educated,
  • A key message for those who do face disappointment
  • Two things the industry can do to help,
  • The best question to ask when coming to the end of treatment and
  • What she’d like people to do as a result of reading Finally Heard.


Finally Heard

You can read more about Pamela on her website and blog and  Finally Heard: A Silent Sorority Finds it’s Voice

Pamela’s was also the first Inspirational Story I published.

How did this resonate with you?

Both Pamela and I would love to read what you thought of our interview and the points we discussed so please leave your comments and any questions below (you don’t have to use your real name).

I’ve spoken to so many women who, after having a chat with me realised that what they’re going through is absolutely normal. So if you’d like to do that please book a complimentary session via my online diary

4 thoughts on “Finally Heard – Interview with Pamela Tsigdinos @SilentSorority”

  1. Lesley, I’ve been meaning to let you know how much I loved listening to you on the BBC interviews, and it was great to hear this conversation with Pamela too. Whilst NZ tends to follow the UK/regulation model of infertility, I can still relate to this. When I left my fertility specialist’s office for the last time, I never heard from them again. Despite the offer to get their resident counsellor to give me a call. All my healing has been done, essentially, on my own. So I am very supportive of bringing these topics to the fore, and you’ve both set me off now on a quest to do more about it here in NZ.
    Mali recently posted…The next big thingMy Profile

    • Thanks so much Mali,
      Healing on our own seems to be common throughout the world, which it’s great that those of us who feel able to write, do so. Because we can all see ourslves in other peoples’ stories and that helps us to heal too.
      If there’s anything I can do to support you from the other side of the world, I’d be happy to support you.

    • Thanks for your comment Klara,
      As you say coming to the other side is easier with support, and I’m so glad that you found it with Pamela, she’s a great role model for us all.


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