Finding gifts in the impossible story.

Finding gifts in the impossible story.

As you know I’m in the middle of writing a book about stories and my new e-book (called Change the Story, Change Your Life) is all about how the stories we tell ourselves can keep us stuck or set us free.

So you’d like to think I’d be on top of this, wouldn’t you?

Well I’m sorry to disappoint you, but no.

Confession time

I recently tripped myself up big time, telling myself that I couldn’t and wouldn’t do something, which of course was the exact thing I needed to do.

A few months ago I started practising yoga and I’ve discovered that I love Yin most of all. Now Yin is different from other yoga, you’re mostly sitting or lying down, it’s meditative and you hold the asanas (seats) for several minutes. As a result I am more peaceful, present and still, I’ve let a lot of things go and mostly I am really connecting to my body.

There’s one asana in particular that I have massive resistance to and it’s called Saddle, (well there’s more than one, anything that involves flinging my legs into the air is also out of bounds).

A few weeks ago I arrive late to a class and the only space is right at the front. Everyone is into Saddle and my conversation with the teacher (Emma) goes something like this:

Emma: I can time you if you want.  EmmaPeelyoga

Me: NO (firmly), that’s Ok, I’ll just lie here.

Then at the end of class:

Emma: I can time you in Saddle if you like.

Me: NO (even more firmly than before) that’s fine thanks; if I never do Saddle again it will be too soon.

Emma; ok, say it like you mean it!

You get the picture.

I decide I’d like to have 1-1 lessons with Emma and at least once in our discussions I say (probably also quite firmly), ‘Please don’t make me do too much Saddle.’

So of course, like any great teacher, in the first session what do we do? Yes you’ve got it Saddle. Well half Saddle. I open myself up further and need less support than ever before. And week two, yes you’ve got it full Saddle this time, and again even support.

What’s the message in this?

It’s all about the story.

Looking back now I see that the story I made up was something like this: ‘All’ the other students are a decade or three younger than me and a lot thinner and bendier. In Saddle ‘no-one else’ has bolsters and, no matter how hard I try I’ll never make any progress.

So I tell myself that ‘I CAN’T DO IT‘ and I WON’T TRY‘.

I was using language of impossibility

I was using language of impossibility, I can’t and won’t which was keeping both my mind and body in a static, unyielding place where progress was in fact impossible.

Some other phrases I could have used were, it’s impossible, I don’t choose to, don’t intend to, am unable to, am not or won’t try.

And I changed to the language of possibility

By creating a safe space where I felt comfortable being vulnerable and open, and okay taking the brick away without me noticing, Emma encouraged me to change the story.

So now I am telling myself that I CAN do this, and I WANT to see how far I can go.

As you can see I am now using ‘I will’ and ‘I can’. Other words I could have used are I able to, I choose to, intend to, I am or it’s possible.

Here’s what changed.

Of course it’s still a story, but before it was static and unyielding and now it’s one of movement, achievement and attainment.

My body has changed too, initially the muscles in my legs were screaming at me to pull back and my back resisted big time. Now they are more relaxed thus enabling me to bend further.

Yes it was hard physically and it was also amazingly freeing and liberating.

And that’s not all, here’s the incredible gift

As I’m lying there, stretched out, open and vulnerable, the wonderful Emma tells me more about Saddle and what she says underlines just why it’s important to me.

It turns out that the meaning of Saddle is Hero, thinking of a Hero (or in this case Heroine)’s journey, the Heroine acts, goes through challenges which she tries to solve easily, and in the end the only way she can get to where she wants to be, is by changing herself.

Which has been my journey over the past few weeks.

Lying there, I am exposed, laying my heart and vulnerability bare for all to see. And this takes courage, trust, power and strength.

It’s teaching me that connecting to my heart connects me to my deepest meaning and purpose, it’s encouraging me to be fearless and to realise my potential.

It is my seat
Emmapeelyoga
It is telling me that I have within me whatever I need to write the best book that I can.  

And I am determined to do so.

I will also conquer it. One day in the (maybe distant) future I will meet it without bolster or block.

I may not be smiling like the lovely Emma here, but I will do it.

What about you?

I know you’ll be telling yourself many stories and some of these will be in the realm of impossible. Perhaps one of the biggest is that, because you’re childless you can’t have a fulfilling life. And I can tell you that is completely not true. I know this because I’m having that life myself and all the Inspirational Story tellers are having that life too. So I have a few questions for you. Think about an area in your life where you feel stuck and ask yourself these questions:

  • What story am I telling myself?
  • Am I using the language of impossible?
  • Are there other things I’m telling myself that I can’t do?
  • How could I let go of these stories?
  • Which stories could I change to a probable or possible?

And:

What gifts could come to me if I do the thing I think I cannot do?

Over to you

Did this story resonate with you and what gifts did you receive when you changed the story?

Please leave a comment to help others, (you can use a different name).

You can find out more about Emma Peel Yoga here.

And if you sign up to my newsletter you’ll learn how to take the first step in changing the story you tell your self.

6 thoughts on “Finding gifts in the impossible story.

  1. Thank you for sharing this part of your ongoing wonderful journey. I’m really happy that you managed to transcend your impossible story with the help of Emma (who sounds lovely!).
    I am also doing a very happy dance at your realisation of this truth: ‘It’s teaching me that connecting to my heart connects me to my deepest meaning and purpose, it’s encouraging me to be fearless and to realise my potential.’ Yes, yes and yes!

    • Thanks Helen, I’m dancing with you, that is a great realisation and the work I did with you gave me a massive start in that direction. Thank you always for your guidance and inspiration.
      And yes Emma is lovely & I hope you’ll meet her at my book launch 🙂
      Lesley xx

  2. Lesley, I just love this – and it’s just what I needed right now! I definitely use the language of impossible. I’ve been wanting to pursue a new course of study, but I have been telling myself all the things that could go wrong in it. Well no more! I’m going to go for it! It’s so hard to catch that subconscious voice, but knowing that others have it too is very reassuring. And I love the idea that new gifts will come my way as a result. Thanks a million!

    • oh Roisin I am SO pleased that my blog helped you.
      I agree it’s easy to slip into the idea of what could go wrong and forget what could go right.
      And sadly we all have that unconcious voice, the key is to notice it and now you are.
      Good luck with your course, I’m sure it will be fabulous. Lesley x

  3. This is such an inspiring post Lesley, thank you for sharing it. Like Roisin, it’s just what I need right now as I’ve not been working for the last six months so as my confidence has ebbed away, that negative inner voice has been getting louder. I’ve been dithering about whether to do some voluntary work with children but have been telling myself that I don’t have the right experience or I won’t be good enough. I love your question “What gifts could come to me if I do the thing I think I cannot do?” So now I’m feeling inspired to just apply and see what happens. Thank you x

    • Thanks so much for commenting Helen,
      I wish you luck with your volunteering and if this time it doesn’t work out this time, you will have learned so much for next time.
      Lesley xx

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