How many small steps to healing do you want to take?

Light at the end of the tunnelI have this quote on my website, and I feel that it‘s worth repeating

Maybe you’re thinking, “If I just sit here and wait, something will change” and that’s the easy thing to do.

However you know, deep down inside that isn’t going to happen, is it?  At some stage and at some level you’re going to have to make an effort to find the light and turn it on.

I really do understand how hard it is even to see that there might be a light. And even when you’ve found it, it takes courage to walk up to it and turn it on.

So let me ask you, would you love to start walking towards the light?

Yes? I thought so. Take my hand and let’s walk together. We won’t be striding out; we’ll take small steps, one at a time. After all as the saying goes ‘A journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step’, and it’s amazing just how far you can get taking small steps.

journey of 1000 miles Small Steps to Healing

I’ll be writing a series called Small Steps to Healing where I’ll be sharing techniques and tips that worked for me and those I use with clients. And I’ll also tell you about things that I wish I’d done sooner. My only aim is to help you to heal and especially in less time than it took me.

My blog is evolving and I can promise that the series will continue for some time (I have lots of different topics), and I’ll write about other things in between as the mood or current events take me.  And of course if there’s anything you’d like me to write about do please drop me a line.

So will you take the first step with me? 

It’s not going to be a quick fix and it may well be one of those journeys where it might seem like you’ve taken 3 steps forwards and 1 back, but the important thing is that, if we work together and you follow the steps, you WILL be moving forwards. And after a while you’ll look back and think ‘crikey I can’t believe it, is that where I was?’

The fundamental of the healing process and being able to have a life you love is changing your mindset from negative to positive. For me that was a change from ‘what will people think’ to ‘I am enough.’ This could be the same for you or it could be something like from ‘I can’t’ to ‘I can’ or ‘I’m not Ok’ to ‘I am Ok’ (insert other as appropriate….).

There’s plenty of evidence to prove that what we focus on increases so if you focus on the negative things in your life then that’s what you’ll have more of.  Our first steps initially therefore will be to start to change your mindset so that you focus on the positive and the first 2 steps are:

The first 2 steps: Keeping a Journal and Practicing Gratitude

Keeping a journal

This really helps to speed up personal change, it will give you many insights that you wouldn’t normally have and it’s a great way to both get your frustrations out and to reconnect with what’s important to you.

And of course it’s very simple; set aside a specific time each day (maybe 15 minutes) and write without stopping. For me, there’s something special about putting pen to paper (here’s a picture of my current journal), and you can obviously use a computer. 2013-08-06 16.37.32

  • As you write take some time to really think about the frustrations you currently have, ensuring that you acknowledge your feelings.
  • And just as importantly write about your hopes and dreams and what you want from your life.

The important thing is to just write, without editing, letting the words flow. If you struggle at first then be patient, after a few days it will be easier.

Practice Gratitude

Our second step this week is to practice gratitude. As you come towards the end of your writing think about and write down what you’re grateful for in your life/today. It could be as simple as the sun coming up, good friends, family, health, that you got to work on time.

  • If you can’t think of many things ask yourself, what’s good in my life, and believe me there will be many things?

And when you’ve done that notice how much more positive you feel than before you started writing.

How these have helped me

I’ve been keeping a journal intermittently for almost 10 years and I find it really helpful to look back and read what was going on at various times and realise that what was an issue then, is no longer.

The key word here is PRACTICE. Like everything gratitude and changing mindset are practices and the more we do them, the better we get. In her research for her book ‘Daring Greatly…’ Dr Brené Brown found that those people who have more joy in their life have tangible gratitude practices. They don’t take what they have for granted, they celebrate it and they have an ATTITIDE OF GRATITUDE.  I’ve been working on this for some time and it’s really made a positive difference to how I view my life.

Please let me know by comments or email how these steps have helped you.

P.S. PASS IT ON.

If you found this useful and you know others who are struggling with the negative feelings that childless brings.  Then please share this article. Use the icons at the top to tweet it, like it on Facebook and send it to specific friends via email.

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