It’s never too late: 4 steps to become who you want to be

it's never to late resizedA few days ago I came across this quote ‘It is never too late to be what you might have been’ by George Eliot and, whilst I love it as it is, I also like these variations:

It is never too late to;

  • be who you might have been,
  • have what you’ve always wanted,
  • do those things you used to love to do,
  • do what you’ve always wanted to do,
  • have the life of your dreams,

and I’m sure you can think of many others.

Do YOU think it’s too late? I used to

Thinking back a few years when I was stuck in a job I didn’t like, struggling with sadness and not knowing what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. If you’d shown me that quote I probably would have disagreed with you and said that, yes it was too late for me.

At the time I was focusing on what was wrong with my life and what I didn’t want, just putting up with things as they were. If you’ve read my previous posts you’ll recognise that I certainly wasn’t taking responsibility.

At the time my work colleagues were considerably younger and when I looked at them, the main things I saw were energy and enthusiasm, neither of which I possessed in abundance.

I did feel that I was too old to change and I had no idea ‘what I might have been.’

I lurched between this and feeling that ‘someday, something’ would change and when I thought about the future it seemed like an ever narrowing road.

It was just the perfect time for me

Four years on and things are completely different. I realise that I had to take control and I’m no longer waiting for something to happen. It’s taken me a while and a lot of effort and now I’m doing something that I love and being who I want to be.

I know that energy isn’t everything (especially if it’s deployed inappropriately), I’ve regained my enthusiasm, and I realise that other positive qualities like experience, knowledge, resilience and strength are more important in getting me where I want to go. And most importantly I now see many options and possibilities in my future.

So here are the four steps I took to be who I wanted to be.

Four steps to be who you want to be

Step 1 Believe

The first step is to believe that you CAN be/have/do what you want, because without that nothing will change,

Step 2 Take responsibility

Here’s the bad news, it’s only YOU that can make this happen. Yes, others may well be part of it and help you on your way, but in the end only YOU can be in the driving seat.

Step 3 Plan

This is the exciting part, brainstorming, planning, dreaming call it what you will, this is the time where you work out who you really want to be/do/have. If you’re like me and not sure what that is, then ask yourself ‘what do I want?’ and keep asking it, over and over again. Let your mind mull it over for a few hours/ days/weeks and you’ll suddenly find that an answer pops into your head.

 Step 4 Act

If you’re thinking ‘why has she put this step in, it’s obvious.’ Yes it is. BUT let me ask you this, do you have dreams? Yes, I thought so, and that’s the key, they’re just dreams until you take action.

Taking action may be the hardest part, or it perhaps you’ve been wanting to get on and DO something before you even worked out what it was that you wanted. It may be that you take a leap of faith with a big action, or you may do something small. Whatever it is, you’ll find that the satisfaction you get from having acted will outweigh any nervousness you felt beforehand.

I know, they all sound quite straightforward when written on a short blog post, and if you say them quickly, they sound even easier.

a year from now resizedI needed help to get through and you might too, so if you’re ready to take positive action towards your healing I’d love to help you. If you’re not quite ready yet or you don’t think I can, that’s okay, but please, please seek out help. There’s no need to travel alone.

And it you’re still not quite sure whether it’s too late, how about this quote instead:

A year from now you will wish you had started today’. Karen Lamb

 P.S. Please pass it on.

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