Six things I’ve learned about living as a childless woman

Have you ever started something thinking you’re ready but it’s only after you’ve been doing it for a while that you realise NOW you’re ready?

Well that’s been my experience over the last year I’ve been supporting childless women.

Here are six things I’ve learned.

Before telling you about them, I’d like to start with a massive thank you. What truly makes my heart sing and keeps me going is your feedback, comments and emails saying how much my writing helps you, so thank you so much.

1. Telling your story helps you heal

Telling my story and sharing what I’ve learned are important (and necessary) parts of what I do and the fear of telling it kept me trapped for a year. What I’ve found is the more I’ve been open about myself and my story the stronger I’ve become. When I started I thought I was strong enough to do this and now I KNOW that I am.

I learned
• To start small,
• That you get more empathy back than you ever thought possible and,
• Before you start you need to be in the right mindset and build your confidence.

What you can do.

Think about how you could be more open about your life in a small way. Maybe there’s someone you could open up to more than you have already, someone who you’re close to or you know will be supportive and understanding.

2. Realise you’re not alone and you need support.

Having your own business has some similarities with being childless in that it’s easy to think you’re alone. You can spend ages (and ages believe me …..) trying to do something and thinking you’re the only person who can’t do it. And of course it’s not the case, you are not alone. You are never alone and realising this sets you free.

In the UK we’re often reluctant to seek out help (I’ve been guilty of this in the past). I assumed that I could heal all on my own which is odd really, I mean I wouldn’t dream of creating my website from scratch without help so why would I think that I could heal myself.

You also need people round you who will celebrate with you when you have successes (and you WILL have successes trust me). I have people around me who care for me whatever happens, who are cheering me on, and most importantly who will dust me off if I have a setback, tell me I was brave and give me a hug (thank you, you know who you are).

What you can do.

Reading this means you already know you’re not alone, so how can you take this one step further? Who do you know who can support you and pick you up if you stumble?

If you’re not sure who to turn to, then you could take a look at the inspirational stories or get the e-book by signing up to the newsletter in the box at the top.

3. If you know who you truly are, then you’ll be okay whatever happens

Knowing my core values and living and working to them has transformed my life, probably more than anything else.

Living to them gives me an inner strength and helps me to be authentic. They guide me to who I want to be, and when I tell my truth from this place and I get criticized or others take a different view, I am okay.

When I’m speaking from a place of authenticity, when I’m living to my values, is when the magic happens.

There are no guarantees that every time you speak out it will turn out well, and there may well be darkness, but when you live to your values you’ll always be able to find the light.

What you can do.

Do you know what your core values are, and if so how much are you living in alignment with them?

If not, who can help you to find them?

4. Keep learning

There’s the saying that ‘life begins at the end of your comfort zone,’ and although there have been times when I wanted to shout loudly that ‘my comfort zone is big enough thank you very much’ I do agree with the saying wholeheartedly.

I’ve learned so many things in the last couple of years which have enabled me to progress and have enriched my life. I wouldn’t be writing this now if I hadn’t learned how to heal through Time Line and other NLP coaching techniques. And I continue to expand my comfort zone continuing learning new ways to support you.

What you can do.

What do you need to learn to move forward, and what skills would help you? And once you’ve identified what they are, how will you learn them?

5. Aim high, and plan small steps

For me, having ‘goals’ feels a real constraint and I spent many years with the philosophy of “to be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target” which meant that I drifted without purpose not knowing who I was and where I wanted to go.

Now I have a vision for both my business and my life and (as that feels daunting) I’ve broken them down into small steps which will take me to where I want to be.

Of course the first step is the most important one, because once you take it, then it’s easier to take the next one and before you know it you’re looking back realising just how far you’ve come.

What you can do.

Do you know where you would like to be in five years, one year, and next month? And do you know WHO you want to be? And knowing that, what small step can you take to move you towards it?

6. Find words to keep you on track

I love a good quote or a mantra, and I’ve recently been using them to give me a push and to keep me on track when things are tough.

I have different quotes for different times and here’s a selection, (I just have to share the Brené Brown quote above as reading it changed my life).

What you can do

What words quotes keep you energised, what will give you a soft place to land and what will keep you going?

Over to you

I hope you found these helpful, and I’ll be writing more about them in more detail over the coming weeks. I’d love to hear how they resonated with you and how you will put them into place in your life.

Also if you have any questions or topics you’d like me to write about, please leave your comment below (your name doesn’t have to be published)

I’d love to hear from you, especially your story, or if you have questions or topics that you’d like me to write about. So if you have any questions at all, please drop me a line.