If I can tell my story, you can and here’s how to start.

Perhaps you listened to me on Woman’s Hour or Drawing the Line talking about how positive my life is as a childless woman.

Or maybe you’ve read my story or blog where I say that childlessness is my greatest gift.

And you’re thinking something like;

  • ‘she was brave, I can’t imagine being so open’
  • ‘I could never do anything like that’, or
  • ‘being able to be so positive about my life seems out of reach’.

I’m going to let you in to a secret…. drumroll please…… none of it was difficult for me.

I’ll repeat it in case you didn’t quite grasp the magnitude of what I said;

  • Appearing on Woman’s Hour and Radio 4 was straightforward for me,
  • Proclaiming my childlessness to the world wasn’t hard,
  • And saying that childlessness is a gift comes naturally to me.

believe you can rNow you’re probably holding your breath, or about to stop reading because you can’t imagine ever being able to say or do what I do.

So first, breathe out and let me explain.

The first thing to note is that;



We may have travelled by a different route and our life circumstances may not be the same but at the core we have the same challenge; to find our way in the world as a childless woman.

I’ve been where you are; feeling like I’m in the dark, not knowing the way out and being unable to shake off those sad feelings. The only difference is that I took action and got help so I’m further down the road.

If you only ever take away one thing from everything that I write please believe that;

  • If I can tell my story, you can.
  • If I can put the sadness behind me and have a positive and fulfilling life, you can too.



One of the core NLP beliefs is that if someone similar to me can do something, so can I.

And to repeat it again; If I can own my story, banish the negative emotions and beliefs that were holding me back and find fulfilment after childlessness, you can too.

You can believe that can’t you?

Here’s how to start.

The way to do this is by modelling,

And before you panic I’m not asking you to strut down a catwalk or make something out of clay. This modelling is listening, watching and learning from others who are good at what you want to learn. For example I learn from more experienced business owners, and I also have a coach.

I’m not suggesting that you copy exactly what someone else does; you pick out what works for you, experiment with different things until you find what fits. And the good news is that it’s a skill you already have, you’ve been doing this all your life.

And now secret number two. Most of my blogs are about modelling, in each one I explain what works for me and invite you to model it, to try it out and see how it helps you. It’s also the basis of some of the work we do in the Let Go and Move On programme.

So if you’ve used any of the techniques I’ve written about, you’ve been doing this.

That’s also why I publish the Inspirational Stories, because by reading how and what other women have done, you’ll get ideas of what you can do. And whatever we do now, whether we tell our story to the world in a blog or live quietly, we all started in the dark and have worked our way into the light.

And you can work your way into the light too, yes you can.

And now a request

I drafted about three different final paragraphs for this blog in the end I’ve decided that I’ve given you plenty to think about so I’ll end by asking you this.

What would it take for you to believe that you can own your story, banish the negative emotions and beliefs that were holding you back and find fulfilment after childlessness?

And you know what’s coming next ….

Whatever it is, do it please because you’ve had enough of being in the dark haven’t you? Isn’t it time to emerge from the dark and become the beautiful butterfly that’s inside you?
Because if I can do this, you can.

What do you think?

flyingbutterfly-webready-whitePlease comment below if you found this helpful so that others can learn from what you’re going to do (you can use a different name).

And if all this seems too much how about booking a complimentary session via my online diary and we will spend 20 to 30 minutes to get clarity on how you can become that beautiful butterfly.

2 thoughts on “If I can tell my story, you can and here’s how to start.”

  1. Thank you for this post. Whilst I do not feel like my journey in trying for a child is done yet, I am beginning to feel more comfortable about ‘owning’ my story and articulating what it is like being childless. These posts are enormously helpful – thank you.

    • Thanks AD, I hope that everything works out for you. And if it doesn’t by reading my posts you know that it is possible to have a fulfilling life without children.


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