What is it time to let go of?

Now that it’s a couple of weeks into the new year, are you still looking forward to the year ahead or are you wondering whether you REALLY want to let go of those things that have been holding you back?

You know how great your life could be if only you could leave them behind.

Let me guess, you can’t stop asking yourself questions like;

  • Why do I still think about the failed IVF treatments?
  • Why didn’t we have another go?
  • Why didn’t we stop sooner?
  • Why did I chase a career for too long when I should have realised that my fertility was dropping?

Or maybe you can’t shake off the emotions that you experienced at the time, things like guilt, sadness or grief.

Let me assure you that you’re absolutely normal.

From time to time we all ask ourselves ‘why, why, WHY ….. ?’ or ‘if only….’

she could never go back RSometimes reminding yourself of a mistake can be helpful because it encourages you to do something about it, or at least not to do it again.

But more often than not, when you concentrate on what might have been all your focus is on the past at the expense of the present and future.

I used to be like this and I drifted for about ten years, and believe me, it’s not a great way to live

I put my life on hold

On my 40th birthday we were going through our last cycle of IVF and the following week we had to attend a family christening. You will understand why I didn’t feel like celebrating.

In the intervening years I developed a pattern of being grumpy and irritated around my birthday and I now realise it was because I associated it with that last journey on the IVF rollercoaster.

When I started to learn NLP I realised the hurt and pain I was causing myself (and those around me) by staying stuck and negative so I made a conscious decision to let go and move on with my life.

Having a birthday in January is not a good time to celebrate so instead I’ve made a habit of doing something different. Two years ago I started my NLP Master Practitioner training and last year I decided to work with a small business coach. Both were pretty major decisions and life changing (and if you were wondering, I’m not yet sure what I’ll be doing this year).

Not yet convinced?

I believe that something new and exciting is standing just outside your awareness, waiting for you to invite it in. But it can’t come in until you’ve made space. So to have a positive future you’ll have to leave these negative thoughts behind.

Ask yourself these two fabulous questions from William Bridges’ book: ‘Transitions, making sense of life’s changes’
from the end spring new beginnings Ra)  What is it time to let go of in your life right now?

b)  What is standing backstage, in the wings of your life waiting to make its entrance?

I recently worked through these questions with a client and she’s a different person now that she’s let go of the guilt and anger that she’d been carrying for many years and made room for happiness and confidence.

How can hanging on to these feelings possibly help you?

If you’re still not sure whether you want to hang on to your negative thoughts and feelings ask yourself:

c) What’s the purpose of hanging on to those thoughts and feelings?

d) How does hanging on to them help me to move on with my life?

If you’re completely honest with yourself the answers will be that there is no positive reason to not leave them behind and you know that your life will be so much better when you do.

Again, imagine how great your life will be once you’ve let go of the things that are holding you back and let in something new and positive.

I’ll end with one of my favourite quotes from Mark Twain.

Over to you 20 years from now

It took me ten years to let go and it can be less for you.

Helping clients to leave behind their negative feelings and move forwards is covered in the Let Go and Move On programme.

Find out how it can help you by booking a complimentary session via my online diary and we will spend 20 to 30 minutes to get clarity on how we can work together to create a life you love.

And if you leave your email at the top of the page you’ll be the first to hear about more articles like this and, as a bonus you’ll get the confidence e-book.

2 thoughts on “What is it time to let go of?”

  1. Such a wonderful message, Lesley.
    We all have dreams or ideas about the way we wanted our lives to go that haven’t happened. But I used to be stuck there, somewhere I decided that if I couldn’t have things the way I wanted them, then I wouldn’t enjoy my life. Just recently I came to realize that I was telling myself a story that was much, much more painful than what happened. I was so stuck in what I thought that meant.
    So yes, this is the year to let that go. 🙂

  2. Thanks for sharing your experience Donna, as you say we all have dreams as to what we hoped our life would be like & hanging on to them when it’s obvious that they can never happen is only hurtful and, in my experience stops us from enjoying life now.


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