What really comforts you?

By Lesley | May 17, 2021 | 0 Comments

Let’s be honest; many of us are struggling in one way or another right now, I certainly am. I got through last year in one piece, but the last couple of months have been really hard & am finding getting back to (the new) normal a bit of a challenge. One way I’m supporting myself is through the work I’ve done to recognise & delve into the patterns I follow when I’m feeling unsettled. What I’ve learned about the difference between what really comforts me versus those things which are false/shadow comforts is making a huge difference to how I’m navigating these challenging times. A quick fix – the false/shadow comforts When I’m feeling anxious, disconnected, vulnerable, or otherwise about to be emotional my head wants a quick fix & it believes that things like chocolate, social media, TV, other forms of food are the answer. What I’ve realised is that any comfort they provide is temporary & instead they’re an attempt to numb whatever’s coming up by distracting myself from it, or (in the case of eating) to push it back down. These are described as ‘Shadow Comforts’ by Jennifer Louden because, as she says these comforts cast long shadows over our lives. To quote her; “Shadow comforts can take any form. It’s not what you do; it’s why you do it that makes the difference. You can eat a piece of chocolate as a holy wafer of sweetness – a real comfort – or you can cram an … Read more

200 blogs later & I’m still chipping away!

By Lesley / April 19, 2021 / 20

This is my 200th blog (woo hoo). The first, published over 8 years ago on 7th March 2013 was entitled ‘Childless or Childfree – what’s the difference & does it … Read more

What if being childless were an opportunity?

By Lesley / March 29, 2021 / 0

In my recent talk for the Childless Collective Summit, I asked the question ‘What if being childless were an opportunity?’ And before you recoil in horror, let me explain… This … Read more

The Childless Collective Summit

By Lesley / February 13, 2021 / 0

To say that I’m excited to be telling you about the Virtual Childless Collective Summit, happening between March 18 & 21 is an understatement.  It is THE MOST EXCITING EVENT … Read more

Unlocking Big Magic; Conversations about creativity, Divinity and beyond

By Lesley / February 8, 2021 / 3

I make no apologies for jumping straight in with a short, sharp dose of tough love & two big questions. Who can you be that you couldn’t have been if … Read more

Unlocking Big Magic; Conversations about creativity, Trust

By Lesley / February 1, 2021 / 0

I’ve been waiting for this chapter since we started because one concept in it changed my life when I first read the book 5 years ago. I had that in … Read more

Unlocking Big Magic; Conversations about creativity, Persistence  

By Lesley / January 25, 2021 / 0

This week on Unlocking Big Magic we discuss another knotty subject. The title of the chapter & our conversation is Persistence & we talk about that, but for me the … Read more

Unlocking Big Magic; Conversations about creativity, Permission

By Lesley / January 19, 2021 / 0

Whose permission do you need? This week on Unlocking Big Magic we dig into permission. The whole book is about spotlighting & then dismantling the different ways we stop ourselves … Read more

Unlocking Big Magic, Conversations about creativity, Enchantment

By Lesley / January 12, 2021 / 2

I’m going to start by being completely honest & admitting I’ve had a bit of a s**t week; after a few days the reality of lockdown hit me & I … Read more

Unlocking Big Magic; Conversations about Creativity. Courage & Fear

By Lesley / January 5, 2021 / 2

Would you describe yourself as a creative person? Or maybe you’d like to be more creative & put up all sorts of barriers to stop yourself. I can’t draw or … Read more

Finding certainty in the most uncertain of times

By Lesley / November 24, 2020 / 7

THAT time of year is upon us &, in addition to everything we normally have to contend with by being childless at Christmas, this year there’s an added layer of … Read more

Why it’s time to change the story

By Lesley / October 13, 2020 / 0

We’re definitely in Autumn & I wanted to write a blog asking you to reflect on what you’ve learned these past few months, what story it’s time to let go … Read more

Following the curiosity driven path to joy

By Lesley / September 21, 2020 / 0

I wrote this post for World Childless Week & it was published under the topic of  ‘Moving Forwards.’ You can read it & many other posts published for that day … Read more

How can the healing arts support your healing?

By Lesley / September 8, 2020 / 0

If you’ve been following my blogs or my social media accounts you’ll know that I’m a big fan of using creativity to support our healing.. It wasn’t always so, I … Read more

Now it’s easy to find what will help you most

By Lesley / August 4, 2020 / 0

I started my website in 2013 & this is blog no 189. 40 of those are Inspirational Stories, but at a guess I’ve written 150 to 200,000 words or, to … Read more

Finding Joy, 2 years on

By Lesley / June 16, 2020 / 8

Two years ago this week I became an (Amazon No1 Bestselling) author when my book Finding Joy Beyond Childlessness was published. If you’ve been following my blogs, you’ll know I … Read more

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