Let’s be honest; many of us are struggling in one way or another right now, I certainly am. I got through last year in one piece, but the last couple of months have been really hard & am finding getting back to (the new) normal a bit of a challenge. One way I’m supporting myself is through the work I’ve done to recognise & delve into the patterns I follow when I’m feeling unsettled. What I’ve learned about the difference between what really comforts me versus those things which are false/shadow comforts is making a huge difference to how I’m navigating these challenging times. A quick fix – the false/shadow comforts When I’m feeling anxious, disconnected, vulnerable, or otherwise about to be emotional my head wants a quick fix & it believes that things like chocolate, social media, TV, other forms of food are the answer. What I’ve realised is that any comfort they provide is temporary & instead they’re an attempt to numb whatever’s coming up by distracting myself from it, or (in the case of eating) to push it back down. These are described as ‘Shadow Comforts’ by Jennifer Louden because, as she says these comforts cast long shadows over our lives. To quote her; “Shadow comforts can take any form. It’s not what you do; it’s why you do it that makes the difference. You can eat a piece of chocolate as a holy wafer of sweetness – a real comfort – or you can cram an … Read more