‘I feel incredibly sad, a sadness deep inside. It’s almost overwhelming, a heaviness inside my chest that I carry all the time, if only I could cry.’ ‘I’m sad and that’s my normal sad.’ Do you recognise these words? Maybe you’ve written or voiced something similar? They’re from my journal, written in late Feb/early March 2016 a few days before I attended a Rising Strong workshop in Vegas. At that time I was doing absolutely everything I could to keep all the grief I was carrying in the box I’d created because I believed it was the right thing to do. Let’s just say, it wasn’t working. That workshop was the beginning of my healing journey and where I started to release some of the sadness I was holding. It was the first time I cried in public and when I realised how much we feel emotions in the body. As I wrote at the time; ‘emotions, we feel them in our body, they have a signature.’ (Who knew??) Looking back I hardly recognise the Lesley who wrote those words. That Lesley was afraid of feeling her grief because she ‘knew’ bottling everything up was the best thing to do. She was largely numb; sadness was her norm and there was very little joy in her life. And now on 8TH March 2019 at 6.22 am, exactly 3 years later I wrote these words during a yoga retreat in India: ‘Never in a million years did I ever expect that … Read moreWhat’s the link between a water bottle, a dragon, a swing chair and a stone?
You know when you commit to something, it all seems exciting and then there comes a moment when you wonder what on earth you’ve just done? This happened to me … Read moreFour things I learned when I showed my true colours.
What happens when you read the headline? Does your body recoil because you can’t possibly believe they could ever apply to you, or do you believe that one day they … Read moreThere’s More To Life Than Having Children
If you’re excited by all the enthusiastic emails flooding into your inbox telling you that, now it’s January you MUST set goals or intentions; give up this or start that, … Read moreWhy not to start new things in January and what do to instead
I think one of the hardest things about being childless in a pronatalist society is feeling misunderstood and at times, feeling less than. I’m not sure I realized it at … Read moreFeeling misunderstood (guest post by Tessa Broad)