What’s the link between a water bottle, a dragon, a swing chair and a stone?

By Lesley | April 1, 2019 | 9 Comments

‘I feel incredibly sad, a sadness deep inside. It’s almost overwhelming, a heaviness inside my chest that I carry all the time, if only I could cry.’ ‘I’m sad and that’s my normal sad.’  Do you recognise these words? Maybe you’ve written or voiced something similar? They’re from my journal, written in late Feb/early March 2016 a few days before I attended a Rising Strong workshop in Vegas. At that time I was doing absolutely everything I could to keep all the grief I was carrying in the box I’d created because I believed it was the right thing to do. Let’s just say, it wasn’t working. That workshop was the beginning of my healing journey and where I started to release some of the sadness I was holding. It was the first time I cried in public and when I realised how much we feel emotions in the body. As I wrote at the time; ‘emotions, we feel them in our body, they have a signature.’  (Who knew??) Looking back I hardly recognise the Lesley who wrote those words. That Lesley was afraid of feeling her grief because she ‘knew’ bottling everything up was the best thing to do. She was largely numb; sadness was her norm and there was very little joy in her life. And now on 8TH March 2019 at 6.22 am, exactly 3 years later I wrote these words during a yoga retreat in India: ‘Never in a million years did I ever expect that … Read moreWhat’s the link between a water bottle, a dragon, a swing chair and a stone?

Finding joy in unexpected places

By Lesley / June 8, 2018 / 4

When you first read the title of my book Finding Joy Beyond Childlessness: Inspiring Stories to Guide You to a Fulfilling Life, you might have been surprised to see the … Read moreFinding joy in unexpected places

How are you different now?

By Lesley / May 24, 2018 / 8

What you’ve been through in the past few years has changed you and you will have gained some qualities you didn’t know you had. You might not want them, but … Read moreHow are you different now?

Four things I learned when I showed my true colours.

By Lesley / May 10, 2018 / 0

You know when you commit to something, it all seems exciting and then there comes a moment when you wonder what on earth you’ve just done? This happened to me … Read moreFour things I learned when I showed my true colours.

There’s More To Life Than Having Children

By Lesley / April 20, 2018 / 0

What happens when you read the headline? Does your body recoil because you can’t possibly believe they could ever apply to you, or do you believe that one day they … Read moreThere’s More To Life Than Having Children

What keeps you on course

By Lesley / April 3, 2018 / 2

It’s all getting a bit hectic in the Pyne household as my dream of holding my book in my hand comes close to being a reality. One moment I find … Read moreWhat keeps you on course

The secret to finding peace

By Lesley / March 13, 2018 / 6

“Here it comes again, my daily weep. I don’t want to cry again. My chest feels so heavy with that all pervading sadness. I’ve worked SO hard over the last … Read moreThe secret to finding peace

Being infertile feels like crap.

By Lesley / February 27, 2018 / 3

Being infertile feels like crap. I  wish I could say it more eloquently, but I really can’t. I felt like a total loser. Now I would never feel that way about … Read moreBeing infertile feels like crap.

Courage or comfort, what’s your choice?

By Lesley / February 1, 2018 / 10

I don’t know about you, but my year has already been a bit of a rollercoaster. In my last blog I wrote how I planned to slow down in January, … Read moreCourage or comfort, what’s your choice?

Why not to start new things in January and what do to instead

By Lesley / January 9, 2018 / 4

If you’re excited by all the enthusiastic emails flooding into your inbox telling you that, now it’s January you MUST set goals or intentions; give up this or start that, … Read moreWhy not to start new things in January and what do to instead

Christmas Survival Guide

By Lesley / November 30, 2017 / 6

It’s that time of year again and you can probably feel the tension and stress building. Maybe the idea of hiding somewhere until January sounds attractive but unfortunately that’s not … Read moreChristmas Survival Guide

Finding joy from grief

By Lesley / November 7, 2017 / 3

When was the last time you felt complete, unadulterated joy? Not sure? Let me guess, you’ve also been running away from grief. As Tracey Cleantis said when I interviewed her … Read moreFinding joy from grief

Feeling misunderstood (guest post by Tessa Broad)

By Lesley / October 25, 2017 / 0

I think one of the hardest things about being childless in a pronatalist society is feeling misunderstood and at times, feeling less than.  I’m not sure I realized it at … Read moreFeeling misunderstood (guest post by Tessa Broad)

Feeling my way through grief

By Lesley / October 9, 2017 / 10

You’re walking down the High Street when completely out of the blue something catches your eye and immediately you feel the grip of grief tightening. It’s like a volcano in … Read moreFeeling my way through grief

The power of finding support

By Lesley / September 17, 2017 / 0

This post is my contribution to WorldChildlessWeek, here are my thoughts on finding support. Let me guess, you’re struggling to come to terms with not being a mother.  You’ve found … Read moreThe power of finding support

What’s made you who you are today?

By Lesley / September 5, 2017 / 0

Here’s a question for you. What events in your life have made you who you are today? And whilst you’re thinking, here’s some help; Take blank sheet of paper; draw … Read moreWhat’s made you who you are today?

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