What really comforts you?

By Lesley | May 17, 2021 | 0 Comments

Let’s be honest; many of us are struggling in one way or another right now, I certainly am. I got through last year in one piece, but the last couple of months have been really hard & am finding getting back to (the new) normal a bit of a challenge. One way I’m supporting myself is through the work I’ve done to recognise & delve into the patterns I follow when I’m feeling unsettled. What I’ve learned about the difference between what really comforts me versus those things which are false/shadow comforts is making a huge difference to how I’m navigating these challenging times. A quick fix – the false/shadow comforts When I’m feeling anxious, disconnected, vulnerable, or otherwise about to be emotional my head wants a quick fix & it believes that things like chocolate, social media, TV, other forms of food are the answer. What I’ve realised is that any comfort they provide is temporary & instead they’re an attempt to numb whatever’s coming up by distracting myself from it, or (in the case of eating) to push it back down. These are described as ‘Shadow Comforts’ by Jennifer Louden because, as she says these comforts cast long shadows over our lives. To quote her; “Shadow comforts can take any form. It’s not what you do; it’s why you do it that makes the difference. You can eat a piece of chocolate as a holy wafer of sweetness – a real comfort – or you can cram an … Read more

Supporting Word Childless Week

By Lesley / August 21, 2018 / 0

This year I’m really excited to be involved in and actively supporting World Childless Week between 10th and 16th September. World Childless Week (WCW) ‘aims to raise awareness of the childless … Read more

150 blogs later and it all boils down to one question

By Lesley / August 7, 2018 / 6

As I started to write I realised this is my 150th blog, so what better time to look back and consider what I’ve learned during the almost 5 ½ years … Read more

Realising that grief isn’t the enemy

By Lesley / July 27, 2018 / 4

Here’s my story called ‘Realising that grief isn’t the enemy ‘ which was published in the August 2018 edition of Happiful Magazine. “After years of hiding her feelings of sadness … Read more

IVF is 40, forgotten voices speaking out.

By Lesley / July 16, 2018 / 2

On 25th July 2018 IVF is 40; it’s the 40th birthday of Louise Brown, the first IVF baby. Latest figures suggest that at least 6 million babies have been born … Read more

It’s ALL about the story

By Lesley / June 29, 2018 / 2

Well what an exciting couple of weeks it’s been. As I write this I’ve been a published author for twelve days, well more than that I am an Amazon No1 … Read more

If you can dream it you can do it

By Lesley / June 18, 2018 / 2

This is it. Today Finding Joy Beyond Childlessness: Inspiring Stories to Guide You to a Fulfilling Life will be downloaded onto Kindles and appear through letterboxes around the world. Today … Read more

Finding joy in unexpected places

By Lesley / June 8, 2018 / 4

When you first read the title of my book Finding Joy Beyond Childlessness: Inspiring Stories to Guide You to a Fulfilling Life, you might have been surprised to see the … Read more

How are you different now?

By Lesley / May 24, 2018 / 8

What you’ve been through in the past few years has changed you and you will have gained some qualities you didn’t know you had. You might not want them, but … Read more

Four things I learned when I showed my true colours.

By Lesley / May 10, 2018 / 0

You know when you commit to something, it all seems exciting and then there comes a moment when you wonder what on earth you’ve just done? This happened to me … Read more

There’s More To Life Than Having Children

By Lesley / April 20, 2018 / 0

What happens when you read the headline? Does your body recoil because you can’t possibly believe they could ever apply to you, or do you believe that one day they … Read more

What keeps you on course

By Lesley / April 3, 2018 / 2

It’s all getting a bit hectic in the Pyne household as my dream of holding my book in my hand comes close to being a reality. One moment I find … Read more

The secret to finding peace

By Lesley / March 13, 2018 / 6

“Here it comes again, my daily weep. I don’t want to cry again. My chest feels so heavy with that all pervading sadness. I’ve worked SO hard over the last … Read more

Courage or comfort, what’s your choice?

By Lesley / February 1, 2018 / 10

I don’t know about you, but my year has already been a bit of a rollercoaster. In my last blog I wrote how I planned to slow down in January, … Read more

Why not to start new things in January and what do to instead

By Lesley / January 9, 2018 / 4

If you’re excited by all the enthusiastic emails flooding into your inbox telling you that, now it’s January you MUST set goals or intentions; give up this or start that, … Read more

Christmas Survival Guide

By Lesley / November 30, 2017 / 6

It’s that time of year again and you can probably feel the tension and stress building. Maybe the idea of hiding somewhere until January sounds attractive but unfortunately that’s not … Read more

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