This will most likely be my last blog as, after 11 years, 225 blogs & a book I’m running out of words. And if I needed proof, I really couldn’t decide what to write. Today (18th June 2024) is Finding Joy’s 6th birthday & in a quest for inspiration I read through my journal from the time she was published & these words really jumped out: ‘Maybe it was all about love, Maybe I did love myself enough to do the work & ask questions, Perhaps that was the case all along.’ To be honest reading them was quite emotional (especially as they’d slipped my mind) & I spent some time pondering everything I’ve done over the past few years. The phrase, “Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” (Søren Kierkegaard) popped into my mind & I realised the one thing; the big thing I’ve learned (am still learning) is the importance of self-love. Everything I’ve done flowed from self-love Looking back, I see that everything I did flowed from self-love. It propelled me to ask for help, to do the ‘work’ to process my childless grief & the loss of both parents, it encouraged me to explore & to follow my curiosity, and most importantly it enabled me to be confident about who I am, tell my story & find my joy. This realisation was quite a shock as, although I touched on self-love in Finding Joy, it wasn’t something I’d consciously considered & … Read more
Own your story and write your ending
Life is lived through story and the story you tell yourself is the biggest of all because it determines the life you have. If you tell yourself that your life … Read more
Why I’m taking a deep breath…
‘When you are standing in that forest of sorrow, you cannot imagine that you could ever find your way to a better place. But if someone can assure you that … Read more
Release & Renewal – Reflections & Wellbeing Through Writing
Guest post by 40AndEverythingAfter I finally gave up on having a family 8 years ago. We had been trying for a baby for 5 years and, after 3 failed IVF … Read more
Taking time out to be grateful for what we have
It feels to me that the world is very strange at the moment. There’s so much anxiety, stress and anger on both sides of the Atlantic; friends and families are … Read more
Allowing myself to fall
I was recently asked ‘how long does it take to ‘get over’ the grief of being childless?’ And my answer: ‘how long do you want it to be?’ I say … Read more
Hot Women Rock
‘It’s never too late to fulfil your life purpose’. That’s the first sentence from my friend Pat Duckworth’s new book; Hot women Rock: How To discover Your Midlife Entrepreneurial Mojo.’ … Read more
Avalanche: A Love story by Julia Leigh.
Today I’m celebrating the publication of a newbook about what it means to be childless. The book is Avalanche: A Love story by Julia Leigh. One of my guiding principles … Read more
Summer Pause and Reset.
This year I’ve spent some time walking in the Yorkshire Dales and it strikes me that so much of life is like going on a hike. You have a destination … Read more
Other than Mother – Guest post by Kamalamani
I had always warmly anticipated motherhood, yet it wasn’t to be. I had always warmly anticipated motherhood, yet it wasn’t to be. At 31 I realised I wasn’t to become … Read more
What does grace mean to you?
What is grace and what does it mean to you? To be honest until a few months ago grace was one of those abstract concepts that I’d heard of but … Read more
Three years, 105 blogs and two things.
Three years ago last weekend this website went live and I started to stand up and be counted as a childless woman. Three years feels like a big milestone and … Read more
Worried about the future at the expense of today?
I was recently asked whether, as a childless woman I’m afraid of dying alone. The rationale for asking was – well you don’t have children (or siblings for that matter), … Read more
Four things I learned from Brené Brown in Vegas
Have you ever made what seem like great plans and then just beforehand you suddenly wonder what on earth you’ve let yourself in for? That was me recently. If you … Read more
When it’s Time to Let Go of the Dream of Motherhood by Lisa Manterfield
This week I have a guest blog for you from Lisa Manterfield, the creator of LifeWithoutBaby.com I really enjoyed reading Lisa’s new book ‘Life Without Baby: Surviving and Thriving When … Read more
What you should really do in January
If you’re excited by all the enthusiastic emails flooding into your inbox encouraging you to start January with a bang; to set goals or intentions; to sign up for this, … Read more
