This will most likely be my last blog as, after 11 years, 225 blogs & a book I’m running out of words. And if I needed proof, I really couldn’t decide what to write. Today (18th June 2024) is Finding Joy’s 6th birthday & in a quest for inspiration I read through my journal from the time she was published & these words really jumped out: ‘Maybe it was all about love, Maybe I did love myself enough to do the work & ask questions, Perhaps that was the case all along.’ To be honest reading them was quite emotional (especially as they’d slipped my mind) & I spent some time pondering everything I’ve done over the past few years. The phrase, “Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” (Søren Kierkegaard) popped into my mind & I realised the one thing; the big thing I’ve learned (am still learning) is the importance of self-love. Everything I’ve done flowed from self-love Looking back, I see that everything I did flowed from self-love. It propelled me to ask for help, to do the ‘work’ to process my childless grief & the loss of both parents, it encouraged me to explore & to follow my curiosity, and most importantly it enabled me to be confident about who I am, tell my story & find my joy. This realisation was quite a shock as, although I touched on self-love in Finding Joy, it wasn’t something I’d consciously considered & … Read more
Quick fix when everything falls apart.
There may be times over the next couple of weeks when you feel like your head might explode through stress or perhaps you may feel so fed up that you … Read more
Babysitting. The solution to being childless?
‘…. having kids doesn’t have to be the sole focus of your life. There are lots of other things you can achieve, adopting and …… there is no shortage of … Read more
How’s your gratitude muscle?
As I write this tomorrow is Thanksgiving in the USA which is why I’m talking about gratitude or being thankful (take your pick which word to use, I’m using them … Read more
What is the Female Assumption?
What is the female assumption in the world today? What does it mean to be a mother or not to be a mother? These are big questions discussed in Melanie … Read more
I may not be perfect but I am a limited edition
Today’s post is a guest blog from my good friend Louise. The strapline “I may not be perfect but I am a limited edition” jumped out at me from an … Read more
Three things I learned when I was hit by a wave
Have you ever stood by the sea enjoying the view and then all of a sudden you get hit by a freak wave which seemingly came out of nowhere? I … Read more
Where do you want to be in 5 years?
Do you know where you want to be in five years? And more importantly do you know WHO you want to be in five years? Will you be the same … Read more
Victim or Victor; what’s the story you tell?
There’s no doubt that the big events which happen in your life shape you. But what shapes you more is the story you tell yourself about those events. If you … Read more
What story are you telling?
My story is myself: and I am my story. This is all you will know of me: it is all I will know of you. Christina Baldwin This quote hits … Read more
Finally Heard – Interview with Pamela Tsigdinos @SilentSorority
Pamela was one of the first bloggers to write about childlessness on her Coming2Terms blog and her book Silent Sorority. She’s also a role model and mentor so when she … Read more
You don’t have to let go of the past
In order to have the life you want; to become who you’re meant to be you have to let go of the past. Some way or somehow you need to … Read more
If I can tell my story, you can and here’s how to start.
Perhaps you listened to me on Woman’s Hour or Drawing the Line talking about how positive my life is as a childless woman. Or maybe you’ve read my story or … Read more
Drawing the Line: When IVF doesn’t work
First Drawing the Line What do you do when IVF doesn’t work? How do you decide when to stop? And how do you come to terms with life afterwards? These … Read more
Childlessness; a scar or an open wound?
When I was born I was flawless, but a few weeks later I developed a brown birthmark just above my right knee. In my first year at school I had … Read more
From ‘too many’ to ‘childlessness is a gift’.
I’ve recently re-written My Story and I realise how much I’ve changed since I last wrote it two years ago. Previously I wrote that we had’ too many’ rounds of … Read more
