This will most likely be my last blog as, after 11 years, 225 blogs & a book I’m running out of words. And if I needed proof, I really couldn’t decide what to write. Today (18th June 2024) is Finding Joy’s 6th birthday & in a quest for inspiration I read through my journal from the time she was published & these words really jumped out: ‘Maybe it was all about love, Maybe I did love myself enough to do the work & ask questions, Perhaps that was the case all along.’ To be honest reading them was quite emotional (especially as they’d slipped my mind) & I spent some time pondering everything I’ve done over the past few years. The phrase, “Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” (Søren Kierkegaard) popped into my mind & I realised the one thing; the big thing I’ve learned (am still learning) is the importance of self-love. Everything I’ve done flowed from self-love Looking back, I see that everything I did flowed from self-love. It propelled me to ask for help, to do the ‘work’ to process my childless grief & the loss of both parents, it encouraged me to explore & to follow my curiosity, and most importantly it enabled me to be confident about who I am, tell my story & find my joy. This realisation was quite a shock as, although I touched on self-love in Finding Joy, it wasn’t something I’d consciously considered & … Read more
The secret to finding peace
“Here it comes again, my daily weep. I don’t want to cry again. My chest feels so heavy with that all pervading sadness. I’ve worked SO hard over the last … Read more
Courage or comfort, what’s your choice?
I don’t know about you, but my year has already been a bit of a rollercoaster. In my last blog I wrote how I planned to slow down in January, … Read more
Why not to start new things in January and what do to instead
If you’re excited by all the enthusiastic emails flooding into your inbox telling you that, now it’s January you MUST set goals or intentions; give up this or start that, … Read more
Christmas Survival Guide
It’s that time of year again and you can probably feel the tension and stress building. Maybe the idea of hiding somewhere until January sounds attractive but unfortunately that’s not … Read more
Finding joy from grief
When was the last time you felt complete, unadulterated joy? Not sure? Let me guess, you’ve also been running away from grief. As Tracey Cleantis said when I interviewed her … Read more
Feeling misunderstood (guest post by Tessa Broad)
I think one of the hardest things about being childless in a pronatalist society is feeling misunderstood and at times, feeling less than. I’m not sure I realized it at … Read more
Feeling my way through grief
You’re walking down the High Street when completely out of the blue something catches your eye and immediately you feel the grip of grief tightening. It’s like a volcano in … Read more
The power of finding support
This post is my contribution to WorldChildlessWeek, here are my thoughts on finding support. Let me guess, you’re struggling to come to terms with not being a mother. You’ve found … Read more
What’s made you who you are today?
Here’s a question for you. What events in your life have made you who you are today? And whilst you’re thinking, here’s some help; Take blank sheet of paper; draw … Read more
From sprained ankle to heart in three steps
I hear and feel the crack in my ankle as I crash to the ground. ‘Are you Okay?’ Roger asks. ‘NO’ I get up slowly up and hobble gingerly to … Read more
Reflections on Grief and Feeling by Sarah Chamberlin @Infertility Honesty
My first brush with the pain of loss I’ll never forget my first real brush with the pain of loss. It was after our fourth IUI failed when my tectonic … Read more
Finding gifts in the impossible story.
As you know I’m in the middle of writing a book about stories & there’s a chapter about how the stories we tell ourselves can keep us stuck or set … Read more
Three ways to ignore grief (and what to do instead)
I’m going to dive straight in with some bad news: You’re grieving. I’m sorry, but you are. I’m guessing that you’ve got that sinking feeling and a ‘no.. ‘ … Read more
Thank you Prince Harry – that’s my story too
It’s not every day that your life experience is the same as a member of the Royal Family, but I breathed a huge sigh of relief when I listened to … Read more
Writing my own ending
I’m standing at the front of the room about to tell fifty people some things about me that no one knows. The silence feels heavy. Fifty faces are focused on … Read more
